A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
James H. Boren

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Michel de Montaigne

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
Helen Rowland

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.
John Steinbeck

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
W. Somerset Maugham

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
Mignon McLaughlin

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Eddie Cantor

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
Raymond Hull


All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.
Sydney J. Harris

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
Sacha Guitry

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
Isadora Duncan

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
Samuel Johnson

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H. L. Mencken

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Marilyn Monroe

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
Jean Kerr

But, alas! what poor Woman is ever taught that she should have a higher Design than to get her a Husband?
Mary Astell