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Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.
Robert Byrne
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
Alanis Morissette
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
W. Clement Stone
When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.
David Brenner
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin
You're only as good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz
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