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Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
Woody Allen
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
Mitch Hedberg
Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.
Marcus Aurelius
Look back over the past, with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can foresee the future, too.
Marcus Aurelius
Tomorrow is nothing, today is too late; the good lived yesterday.
Marcus Aurelius
We are too much accustomed to attribute to a single cause that which is the product of several, and the majority of our controversies come from that.
Marcus Aurelius
Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
Will Smith
Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1000 of something is too many. I'll have 1000 pieces of noodles.
Mitch Hedberg
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
One always dies too soon or too late. And yet, life is there, finished: the line is drawn, and it must all be added up. You are nothing other than your life.
Jean-Paul Sartre
Ah! yes, I know: those who see me rarely trust my word: I must look too intelligent to keep it.
Jean-Paul Sartre
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Jean-Paul Sartre
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
Mitch Hedberg
Sex is full of lies. The body tries to tell the truth. But, it's usually too battered with rules to be heard, and bound with pretenses so it can hardly move. We cripple ourselves with lies.
Jim Morrison
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Mitch Hedberg
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Steven Wright
It is well that war is so terrible. We should grow too fond of it.
Robert E. Lee
Do not give in too much to feelings. A overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The unnatural, that too is natural.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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