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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
Lily Tomlin
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas A. Edison
The man who will use his skill and constructive imagination to see how much he can give for a dollar, instead of how little he can give for a dollar, is bound to succeed.
Henry Ford
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody Allen
The problem in defense is how far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others.
Marcus Aurelius
How much time he saves who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks.
Marcus Aurelius
When thou art above measure angry, bethink thee how momentary is man's life.
Marcus Aurelius
Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself.
Walter Anderson
Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.
George S. Patton
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Mitch Hedberg
Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1000 of something is too many. I'll have 1000 pieces of noodles.
Mitch Hedberg
If you tell people where to go, but not how to get there, you'll be amazed at the results.
George S. Patton
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
George S. Patton
Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.
George S. Patton
You must be afraid, my son. That is how one becomes an honest citizen.
Jean-Paul Sartre
The test of success is not what you do when you are on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.
George S. Patton
Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.
George S. Patton
It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?
Mitch Hedberg
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