Want to learn to eat a lot? Here it is: Eat a little. That way, you will be around long enough to eat a lot.
Tony Robbins

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Ronald Reagan

If the federal government had been around when the Creator was putting His hand to this state, Indiana wouldn't be here. It'd still be waiting for an environmental impact statement.
Ronald Reagan

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain

I am quite serious when I say that I do not believe there are, on the whole earth besides, so many intensified bores as in these United States. No man can form an adequate idea of the real meaning of the word, without coming here.
Warren Buffett

As athletes, we're used to reacting quickly. Here, it's 'come, stop, come, stop.' There's a lot of downtime. That's the toughest part of the day.
Michael Jordan

If Jesus were here today, he wouldn't be riding around on a donkey. He'd be taking a plane, he'd be using the media.
Joel Osteen

I existed from all eternity and, behold, I am here; and I shall exist till the end of time, for my being has no end.
Kahlil Gibran

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
Muhammad Ali

I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?
John Lennon

It was like being in the eye of a hurricane. You'd wake up in a concert and think, Wow, how did I get here?
John Lennon

Every immigrant who comes here should be required within five years to learn English or leave the country.
Theodore Roosevelt

There can be no fifty-fifty Americanism in this country. There is room here for only 100% Americanism, only for those who are Americans and nothing else.
Theodore Roosevelt

Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.
Ayn Rand

I'm sorry that we have to have a Washington presence. We thrived during our first 16 years without any of this. I never made a political visit to Washington and we had no people here. It wasn't on our radar screen. We were just making great software.
Bill Gates

Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disenfranchised. No barrier of the senses shuts me out from the sweet, gracious discourses of my book friends. They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness.
Helen Keller

So, do you live around here often?
Steven Wright

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Steven Wright

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Steven Wright

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright