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I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Jon Stewart
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bill Cosby
I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
Bill Cosby
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.
Bill Cosby
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck
I had seen birth and death but had thought they were different.
T. S. Eliot
Not just in commerce but in the world of ideas too our age is putting on a veritable clearance sale. Everything can be had so dirt cheap that one begins to wonder whether in the end anyone will want to make a bid.
Soren Kierkegaard
It was completely fruitless to quarrel with the world, whereas the quarrel with oneself was occasionally fruitful and always, she had to admit, interesting.
Soren Kierkegaard
Some men have a necessity to be mean, as if they were exercising a faculty which they had to partially neglect since early childhood.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
A veteran journalist has never had time to think twice before he writes.
George Bernard Shaw
She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw
The Hebrews have done more to civilize men than any other nation. If I were an atheist, and believed blind eternal fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations.
John Adams
It has always been my private conviction that any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming.
John Steinbeck
I have never been able to look upon America as young and vital but rather as prematurely old, as a fruit which rotted before it had a chance to ripen.
Henry Miller
The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.
Douglas Adams
To say that any people are not fit for freedom, is to make poverty their choice, and to say they had rather be loaded with taxes than not.
Thomas Paine
The men who followed Him were unique in their generation. They turned the world upside down because their hearts had been turned right side up. The world has never been the same.
Billy Graham
If we had more hell in the pulpit, we would have less hell in the pew.
Billy Graham
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
Vincent Van Gogh
Those Dutchmen had hardly any imagination or fantasy, but their good taste and their scientific knowledge of composition were enormous.
Vincent Van Gogh
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