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When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
Steven Wright
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
Mitch Hedberg
Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not.
Pablo Picasso
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
Steven Wright
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
Steven Wright
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer 'yes' without having asked any clear question.
Albert Camus
Always fall in with what you're asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever's going. Not against: with.
Robert Frost
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Erma Bombeck
The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.
Adolf Hitler
When friends asked me, Can we help? I'd say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock. I used that line from Star Wars.
Charlie Sheen
Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.
Leo Tolstoy
I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting money.
Andy Warhol
There are no classes in life for beginners; right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult.
Rainer Maria Rilke
The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.
George Eliot
I'm happy with the coach we have. I think any one of the ones I asked them to consider would've been good.
Bear Bryant
Just before she died she asked, What is the answer? No answer came. She laughed and said, In that case, what is the question? Then she died.
Gertrude Stein
Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked.
Viktor E. Frankl
So much is asked of parents, and so little is given.
Virginia Satir
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