If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
Wilson Mizner
If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.
Wilson Mizner
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.
Wilson Mizner
It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.
Wilson Mizner
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Wilson Mizner
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
Wilson Mizner
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Wilson Mizner
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
Wilson Mizner
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
Wilson Mizner
The first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson Mizner
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
Wilson Mizner
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
Wilson Mizner
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Wilson Mizner
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
Wilson Mizner
You sparkle with larceny.
Wilson Mizner
Related Authors
Zora Neale Hurston, Tennessee Williams, David Mamet, Lillian Hellman, Clare Boothe Luce, Edward Albee, Alan Jay Lerner, Eugene O'Neill
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