I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
Wendy Liebman
Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.
Wendy Liebman
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
Wendy Liebman
My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.
Wendy Liebman
People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!
Wendy Liebman
Related Authors
George Carlin, Mitch Hedberg, Groucho Marx, Steven Wright, W. C. Fields, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Cosby, Lenny Bruce, Henny Youngman
More American Comedian Quotes
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