A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.
Steve Martin

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
Steve Martin

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
Steve Martin

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.
Steve Martin

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
Steve Martin

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.
Steve Martin

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.
Steve Martin

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness.
Steve Martin

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Steve Martin


I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
Steve Martin

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.
Steve Martin

Love is a promise delivered already broken.
Steve Martin

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
Steve Martin

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready.
Steve Martin

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
Steve Martin

Well, excuuuuuse me!
Steve Martin

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Steve Martin

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well.
Steve Martin