Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
Scott Adams

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
Scott Adams

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
Scott Adams

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
Scott Adams

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
Scott Adams

I get mail; therefore I am.
Scott Adams

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
Scott Adams

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
Scott Adams

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
Scott Adams

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
Scott Adams


In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
Scott Adams

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Scott Adams

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
Scott Adams

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
Scott Adams

Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Scott Adams

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
Scott Adams

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Scott Adams

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
Scott Adams

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
Scott Adams

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Scott Adams