Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams
Carpe per diem - seize the check.
Robin Williams
Comedy is acting out optimism.
Robin Williams
Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
Robin Williams
Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.
Robin Williams
Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.
Robin Williams
Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
Robin Williams
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice.
Robin Williams
I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
Robin Williams
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
Robin Williams
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Robin Williams
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Robin Williams
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
Robin Williams
No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
Robin Williams
People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
Robin Williams
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Robin Williams
Reality: What a concept!
Robin Williams
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
Robin Williams
The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
Robin Williams
Related Authors
George Carlin, Mitch Hedberg, Groucho Marx, Steven Wright, W. C. Fields, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Cosby, Lenny Bruce, Henny Youngman
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