I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.
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I'll tell you the truth; I wanted to leave me for Sid Caesar.
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If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
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Then, there was Cary Grant. He spent three hours a week in hospitals teaching nervous people how to eat jello.
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There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.
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When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.
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Related Authors
George Carlin, Mitch Hedberg, Groucho Marx, Steven Wright, W. C. Fields, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Cosby, Lenny Bruce, Henny Youngman
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