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As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
H. L. Mencken
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H. L. Mencken
Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.
H. L. Mencken
Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
H. L. Mencken
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
H. L. Mencken
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
H. L. Mencken
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
H. L. Mencken
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
H. L. Mencken
Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
H. L. Mencken
Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.
H. L. Mencken
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H. L. Mencken
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
H. L. Mencken
Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
H. L. Mencken
Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.
H. L. Mencken
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
H. L. Mencken
Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
H. L. Mencken
Every man is his own hell.
H. L. Mencken
Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.
H. L. Mencken
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
H. L. Mencken
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