There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Groucho Marx
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Groucho Marx
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Groucho Marx
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Groucho Marx
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx
Related Authors
George Carlin, Mitch Hedberg, Steven Wright, W. C. Fields, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Cosby, Lenny Bruce, Henny Youngman
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