Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.
Brendan Behan

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.
Brendan Behan

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
Brendan Behan

I am a daylight atheist.
Brendan Behan

I am a drinker with writing problems.
Brendan Behan

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
Brendan Behan

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.
Brendan Behan

I say myself no depressed words just depressed minds.
Brendan Behan

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
Brendan Behan

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.
Brendan Behan


If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
Brendan Behan

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.
Brendan Behan

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.
Brendan Behan

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
Brendan Behan

One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.
Brendan Behan

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
Brendan Behan

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
Brendan Behan

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Brendan Behan

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Brendan Behan

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
Brendan Behan