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Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Ambrose Bierce
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Ambrose Bierce
Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
Ambrose Bierce
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Ambrose Bierce
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
Ambrose Bierce
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Ambrose Bierce
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Ambrose Bierce
Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Ambrose Bierce
Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
Ambrose Bierce
Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
Ambrose Bierce
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
Ambrose Bierce
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Ambrose Bierce
Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
Ambrose Bierce
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Ambrose Bierce
Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.
Ambrose Bierce
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Ambrose Bierce
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
Ambrose Bierce
The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
Ambrose Bierce
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Ambrose Bierce
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Ambrose Bierce
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